PERFORMING THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY

Entitlement or authorization means that an individual is either entitled or authorized to perform the solemnization of marriages by the ordaining entity and the respective state. In other words, are you legal to perform the wedding? Have you submitted your Letter of Good Standing, if necessary? Do you have a hard copy of your credential, if necessary? Are you the appropriate (legal) age in that state to perform the wedding?

The Universal Life Church ordains individuals without question as to beliefs, for life and for free. By becoming ordained, you are given that right to perform weddings legally.

Each state has its own rules about who can perform weddings within its borders. If you are unsure, call the local county clerk where the wedding will take place and tell them you are a new minister and would like to know if you need to register or follow any other procedures before performing a wedding within that state. They will be able to tell you. If they appear to not know at all, it is probably a non-registration state. Please look up the marriage laws for the state as well to confirm.

The following excerpts are taken from the Wedding Officiant Training Kit on how to perform weddings:

THE CONSULTATION

There are a number of different ways you can conduct your consultations. I'll mention a few ideas and you can tailor them to suit your personality.

The way I do the consultation is that first I tell them over the phone a little about how I do the ceremony. I explain to them that the ceremony is broken down into parts and that they are welcome to choose which parts they like, make the ceremony as short or long, religious or secular, funny or serious as they want and are also encourages to tailor it to suit themselves. I also offer them a free copy of my book, The Ultimate Wedding & Ceremony Workbook For The 'Planning-Impaired' to help them. All the ceremony parts are listed in the book for them to choose from and there is a list of processional examples to help them with that aspect of the ceremony. The pages even tear out. I have provided a list of the processional examples below.

I personally find it easiest to let the couple choose for themselves. I have often been asked if the couple wrote the ceremony themselves because it so accurately reflected who they were as a couple. Also, by giving them a copy of the book, I'm also giving them tons of planning information and the ability to customize the ceremony themselves. This saves me a lot of work and puts the control back into the hands of the couple. They appreciate the assistance and are more apt to give a referral to a minister who gave them something for free.

Having the book has made my life much easier because now I just explain the parts, give them the book and let them create the ceremony that best suits them. To compensate for the cost of the book, I just raised my prices by $15 to cover the cost. If you are interested in ordering more than one copy to give to your couples, you can order five or more at considerable discount. To learn more about this, go to the certificates section of the shopping cart.

Then I quote them a price. (First I find out where the wedding will be held so I can determine if there will be a travel charge.) I generally don't tell them how much I include for travel because however much it is will sound like too much to most budget-minded couples. If it's far, then I tell them that the price includes travel.

When I meet with them, I show them my binder, explain each of the parts, write down the particulars of their wedding on a worksheet and secure a deposit. Some ministers don't require deposits, but a deposit assures me that if the wedding is cancelled or if they're not really serious, my time was not wasted and the book was paid for. The deposit also assures the couples that the time-slot for their wedding is guaranteed.

The Wedding Itself

When I go to a wedding, I usually bring my entire wedding binder. I do this for several reasons: First of all, if I have my binder, then I have all the information at my fingertips. If the couple decides to make a change and they want to add something, then I have it right there for them. Secondly, I sometimes have several weddings to do in one day and not enough copies of the parts printed out. If there aren't any changes, I can re-use different parts of the service. This saves dramatically on copying costs. I leave 10 or more plastic pages in the back of the book to arrange the current ceremony I'm doing. Thirdly, I have pictures in the binder, which I have been asked to show around on more than one occasion. Maybe there is a picture from a friend's wedding they want to see. Once, I went to a wedding where a lot of people looked familiar and I couldn't understand why. One person in particular looked familiar, so I flipped through my binder and it turns out I'd done his wedding the year before. (It's hard to remember everyone!)

Here are some additional tips by Rev. Sally Christie:

1.  I meet couples in a public place, a coffee shop inside a bookstore.  How will they know me?  I carry a small white rose in a small vase and set it on my table.  (Show up early.) Wearing your Minister T-shirt or clip on badge works well too.

2.  If your area has ads in restrooms, write down the number and call.  I have ads placed in 11 women's rooms and my audience is not only gender specific, it is captive! 

3.  Find your bridal and women's events.  If, like me, you can't afford a table, at least show up with business cards and tell the venders who you are.  Then keep up the contact with them.  A few local boutiques have referred people to me. 

4.  Yellow Pages are good. 

5.  Get a logo and put up posters anywhere public. 

6.  Leave business cards with your tip money. 

7.  Have an ad placed specifically on the engagement/wedding page of your Sunday paper. 

8.  I auctioned a ceremony at an Elegant Affaire for battered children's fundraiser.  Free publicity and the proceeds go to a good cause.